A self-admission of growth looks anything but how I imagined it. It appears, plainly, long before supporting evidence is submitted or recognition is made in public. I have now crossed 5 years at Vercel. Any wisdom I could impart on this newest milestone (previously: 4, 3, 2, 1, 0.5) is not only my own wisdom; I owe so much to the wonderful people on this journey with me.
To balance a feeling of bewilderment and awe at substantial time having elapsed so quickly from the starting point, I remind myself to remember the last year with far greater attention to detail than I had noticed in that moment:
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The sound of pride in my mother’s voice when I rang to tell her I was awarded CSE of the Year. I was stood leaning next to the doors to a room in a long hallway at the company’s first ever offsite in California. Like mothers do, she continued telling anyone she could. She still does.
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The instinctive pausing of music playing in my AirPods while still leaving them in my ears. It sounds absurd but (do you relate?) when you’re really locked in, you end up preferring working in silence over even your favorite tunes. I’m grateful for finding that flow state in most hours on all days.
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The stillness of the cursor on a Zoom meeting that had just ended. I was confirmed a promotion to Senior Support Engineer and I needed a couple of minutes in seeing what this actualization looked like in the reflection on the screen of my MacBook. I don’t know why it felt like déjà vu.
Our lives are finite. After all these years, as I measure how these experiences have shaped me in lasting ways, I admit life looks infinitely less finite.
Until next time,
Riz